There, There, Old Man

It’s perfectly fine if your memory’s lapsing,
Nobody cares that the dollar’s collapsing!
I’m on TV each night, and I got your back
Against all of those unfounded right-wing attacks
Parenting’s tough, I know this, relax!
We can’t all have kids who don’t like that crack
No matter how down you feel in this slump
You’ll always be better than Donald John Trump

Don’t get upset – America’s mean!
You’re still the best president I’ve ever seen
From pillar to post, and coast-to-coast
You’re still the old man who I love the most
The press room is scary, so I’ll be your host
These questions will burn you like light yellow toast
So put your hand down, don’t get so hyper
My staff doesn’t need you to fill up your diaper

You were the best guest that I’ve ever had!
With Bob Saget gone, you’re America’s Dad
Don’t look at the polls, don’t worry ’bout inflation
There’s much bigger problems in this racist nation
As anyone knows who watches this station
We try really hard to lower vibration
Goodnight everybody! Now the moment I dread…
I think I must carry our president to bed